This Time, I Won't Be His Dead Weight

After the college entrance exams, I stumble upon a post online. "If you could do it all over again, what major would you choose this time?" The comments section is flooded with people wishing for a fresh start, each laying out their own reasons for regret—except for one reply that feels entirely out of place amid the crowd. "I'd choose Psychology. That way, she and I wouldn't have missed out on those four years we should have spent together, just because we had to worry about that dead weight." I let out a faint chuckle and am about to scroll past when the profile picture and handle catches my eye. They are identical to those of my childhood friend, Luke Spencer. I click on his profile. Everything matches perfectly, except his age is set ten years older. My heart sinks. So, this is Luke from ten years in the future. No wonder he stood in heavy silence while I cheered alone when we learned we'd been accepted into the same major. No wonder he stared into space for so long after seeing my best friend, Anna Stone, receive her acceptance letter from the Psychology department. It turns out that I am the dead weight—the reason behind all his regrets and remorse. Fine, then. I quietly tap "Confirm" and accept the offer from a university abroad. I would end this mistake ten years early. Chapter 1 "Who is this dead weight you're talking about?" Staring at the screen, I took a deep breath and typed out the words. Luke Spencer's reply appeared just seconds later. "Someone I grew up with," he wrote. "To be exact, she's someone I owe half my life to. Her parents died saving my life, so my parents adopted her to repay them. However, she takes advantage of my family's guilt and clings to me all the time, making everyone think she's my future wife. I don't want to be tied to her." I blinked. Tears fell onto the screen as I remembered my parents, who had long since been gone. In that horrific landslide, Dad had thrown himself in front of Luke to push him out of the way, only to be crushed to death by a boulder. Mom had used the last of her strength to push him up to safety before the mud swallowed her whole. Luke had once told me to treat the Spencer family as my own. He had promised to stay by my side and protect me for the rest of my life. It turned out that, in his eyes, I was nothing more than an annoying woman who had been using my parents' sacrifice to guilt-trip him. "I hate people who guilt-trip others. Congrats on escaping the nightmare!" "Forget the drama. I'm here for the romance! Tell us how you and your true love finally got together!" The comments kept pouring in. After a while, Luke finally responded with two short messages. "It was simple. I came clean when that woman wanted to get engaged to me." "I told her straight up that I'd already slept with the woman I truly loved." My fingers began to tremble uncontrollably. "Whoa! Now that's what I call a man who doesn't beat around the bush!" "Did the clingy woman just walk away? Didn't she make a scene?" "She did, but it didn't matter," Luke replied. "I had leverage over her. The company she worked for belonged to my uncle. When her grandmother fell seriously ill and needed the final payment for her surgery, I withheld her bonus. In the end, she had no choice but to let me go." Something inside me suddenly snapped. I could barely breathe. How could this be? How could Luke use my own family against me like that? "So, where are you and your current girlfriend now? Are you married yet?" someone asked in the comments. A second later, a photo appeared on the feed. Two hands were intertwined, each wearing a wedding band. My chest caved in. The mole on the woman's hand sat in the exact same spot as the one on my best friend, Anna Stone. The bracelet on her wrist in the photo was the same one I was wearing right now. Luke's parents had given one to each of us. They said the bracelets were passed down through the Spencer family for generations and would keep us safe. "We'll each wear one. That way, we'll never be apart for the rest of our lives." Luke had gripped my hand tightly as he made that promise back then. However, he ended up giving that promise of forever to someone else. I clenched my teeth and fought to steady my trembling breath. Then, I sent a private message to the account. "Hello. I'm in a similar situation. Because of another person, I couldn't be with the person I love. I'd really like to talk to you. Would that be okay?" I needed to know what happened during those ten years. His reply came soon after. "Sure. It wasn't really unrequited love in my case, though." A second message followed. "During the summer after high school, I secretly booked a couples' trip and took her to Montclair Island. By then, we'd already fallen for each other." My grip on my phone tightened. A couples' trip on Montclair Island… Back then, Luke had told me he wanted to take his graduation trip alone, just to enjoy the freedom and peace in solitude. It turned out he had taken Anna to the very island I had always dreamed of visiting. I sat there in a daze for a long time before leaving the chat. Then, I sent a message to Luke from my world. "Luke, did you choose the same major as me because you actually wanted to?" His response came almost instantly. "Of course. Mom and Dad told me to take care of you for the rest of your life." So, it wasn't his own choice. It was something he had been told to do. It turned out Luke had changed a long time ago. I let out a bitter laugh and tapped "Confirm" to accept the offer from a university abroad. It didn't matter anymore. Luke Spencer, from now on, I would never need you again. Chapter 2 Luke came home three days later. During dinner, he shoved a small box into my hand and told me it was a gift. I opened it and found a bookmark inside. "Oh, did you and Anna go to the same place?" I asked. Luke's mother, Kate Lawson, leaned over to take a look. "Anna came by earlier today. She gave Zoe the exact same thing." Luke's hand froze in midair. A flicker of panic crossed his face, and he seemed at a total loss for words. I simply kept eating and said casually, "It's fine. Having two isn't a bad thing." One cheap bookmark or two made no difference. Luke stared at me for a moment, clearly caught off guard. Before he could say anything, Kate chimed in, "That's true. You three really do have such a strong bond. You're all going to the same college, and you and Zoe are even majoring in the same subject." "Mom, Dad." Luke suddenly cut her off. "After freshman year, I'll probably switch majors." A sharp pain stabbed through my chest, leaving behind a dull ache. The Luke from ten years in the future had told me that I would burst into tears whenever he brought up switching majors. "Whenever she cried, Mom and Dad would lecture me and bring up what happened a decade ago," he had complained. "So for all four years of college, I had no choice but to stay with her." I swallowed the dull ache in my chest and lifted my head with a smile. "That's good." I looked Luke straight in the eyes. "I think you should choose whatever you really want." The room fell silent instantly. Luke's parents froze, the words dying in their throats. As for Luke, he didn't look as happy as I had expected. His expression was unusually grim. As soon as dinner was over, he pulled me into his room. "What was that about?" he demanded sharply. "I meant exactly what I said." I gave him a confused look. "If you don't like your current major, you can switch majors whenever you want. I won't cling to you," I added, keeping my voice calm and earnest. "Zoe Carter, you…" Luke frowned, his expression growing darker. "Why are you acting like this?" The old me would never have been so polite and distant with him. "Just say what's on your mind. Stop hiding your feelings. I can't read your mind. Can't you be more straightforward… like Anna?" Luke asked, looking down at me with a hint of frustration. My nails dug into my palms so hard they nearly drew blood. Then, as if on cue, Anna called. "Hey, handsome. My faucet can't stop dripping. Come save the day!" Her loud, carefree voice rang through the phone. Luke turned around and left without a second thought. I watched his back as he left, my mind drifting back to last week. Luke's parents had been out of town on a business trip. While I was cooking at home, I accidentally cut my finger with a boning knife. Blood splattered across the cutting board. All I wanted was for Luke to get me a bandage. However, he said coldly, "You're an adult now. Learn to be independent instead of relying on me for every little thing." In the end, I had walked to the nearby clinic all by myself, my hand still covered in blood. By the time the doctor finished bandaging the wound, Luke still hadn't shown up. Yet Anna only had to call him once, and he came running immediately. I stood there, lost in thought. Ten minutes later, I came across Anna's post on social media. "A man hard at work is a man at his finest!" The photo showed Luke crouching in the corner of her bathroom, a wrench in hand as he worked on the faucet. "Something's going on here. Anna, is he your boyfriend?" someone commented. Anna immediately shot back, "Do you have a death wish? He's my best friend's boyfriend. Don't get any ideas!" I stared at her defensive reply and let out a bitter laugh. Then, I messaged Luke from the future. "If the person who was clinging to you had let go from the very beginning, would you be happy now?" This time, he didn't reply right away. He stayed silent for so long that I thought he had disappeared. Finally, a message popped up. "I wouldn't say I'd be happy, but at least I wouldn't feel guilty. If she had let go back then, she probably wouldn't be dead now." Chapter 3 My breath caught in my throat, and my blood ran cold. Dead? So, I would be dead ten years later? I tried hard to stay calm. Then, I probed him about my death. Luke didn't seem interested in hiding the truth either. He took his time before typing back. "Because she was stubborn." "After I forced her to call off our engagement, her grandmother died anyway," his next message read. "It was just an accident, though. One day, the woman I loved went to visit her grandmother and accidentally let slip what was going on between us." "Her grandmother got too worked up, and the doctors couldn't save her." A chill ran through me. I bit down hard on my lower lip, forcing myself not to sob. I already knew who he meant by "the woman I loved". It was Anna. My grandmother was the only family I had left in this world. "She didn't do it on purpose. She just wanted to invite her to the engagement party." "And you just believed whatever she told you?" My fingers flew across the screen, unable to hold back my anguish. Unexpectedly, Luke didn't get angry. He just kept typing. "Of course. I know her well. She's straightforward and doesn't play games." Then another message popped up. "Unlike that other woman." My hand went limp, and the phone slipped onto my lap. He was right. Anna was straightforward, bold, and free-spirited. She loved fiercely and hated just as fiercely, never hiding how she felt. In his eyes, I was nothing more than a bitter, scheming liar. "What happened next?" I asked, fighting back my tears. "After that, she lost her mind. She insisted on confronting the person I loved. I lost my temper and slapped her. She stumbled and fell, and she miscarried," he replied. "I didn't know we were expecting a child," he added. His words were brief, but every one cut straight into my heart like a sharp blade. "I regretted what I had done. I wanted to take good care of her, but after she woke up, she became mentally unstable. So, I had her admitted to a psychiatric hospital." "But I never expected…" He paused for a moment before typing back, "Last week, she had a sudden relapse and took her own life in the hospital." The screen went black. By then, tears were already streaming down my face. So, this was how my story ended. An agonizing pain seized my chest, making every breath a struggle. Cold sweat broke out all over my body as my hand trembled uncontrollably. A sudden wave of nausea hit me, leaving me gagging helplessly. Finally, I bolted out the door and headed straight for the nursing home. Grandma was sitting peacefully by the window, enjoying the sunlight. The moment she saw me, her eyes crinkled with a smile. Before she could say anything, I hurriedly cut her off. "Grandma, I'm planning to study abroad. Will you come with me?" I would never leave her here. Grandma froze, clearly confused by my sudden announcement. Still, she gave me a gentle nod. "Of course," she murmured, her frail hand reaching up to stroke my hair. "Wherever you go, I'll go with you. What about Luke? Are you two…" "He has nothing to do with me anymore. Grandma, remember this. I don't love him, and I'll never marry him," I said firmly. Grandma looked at me, confused. But in the end, she agreed. The crushing weight in my chest lifted slightly, and I let out a sigh of relief. After chatting with her for a while, I got up and left. However, I didn't expect to find someone blocking the doorway. More accurately, there were two of them. Luke stood there, his face dark and unreadable. My heart instantly tightened. How much of that had he overheard? Beside him, Anna immediately spoke up. "Zoe, did this blockhead mistreat you again? Is that why you said you don't love him?" "I'll teach him a lesson for you!" She raised her hand to hit Luke, but he caught her wrist in one swift movement. "Is your hand even healed yet?" he asked coldly. I caught sight of a tiny Band-Aid wrapped around Anna's finger. Then, I lowered my gaze to my own hand. A week had passed, yet it was still wrapped in thick bandages, with fresh blood seeping through. Luke followed my gaze and looked down at my hand. A flicker of embarrassment crossed his face. He cleared his throat and said, "Let's go home first. Your hand—" "No need," I cut him off, lifting my head and forcing a smile onto my face. "It's exactly what you heard. Luke, let's stop seeing each other from now on." Chapter 4 Luke swallowed hard several times before he finally spoke. "Zoe, haven't you made enough of a scene?" I remained silent. It was precisely because I finally had enough that I no longer dared to make a fuss. "I'm not making a scene," I said with a flat tone, meeting his gaze. "I just don't love you anymore, so I want to keep my distance and avoid any unnecessary misunderstandings." Luke's hand froze mid-air as he stared at me in disbelief. He seemed to have never imagined that I would say something like that. "Zoe, stay calm!" Anna chimed in, panic lacing her voice as she grabbed my hand. "You two are so close. Everyone talks about how you're childhood sweethearts and envies you so much!" She pressed on, squeezing my fingers. "You two are definitely going to end up together!" "Who said that?" Luke cut her off with a bitter laugh, his eyes fixed on me. "I've never felt that way about her in the first place." He turned to Anna. "Besides, I already have someone I like." Hearing those words, I let out a long, quiet breath of relief. He had finally said it out loud. Having freed himself from the debt of gratitude that had bound him for years, he was free at last. And yet, even as he confessed his feelings to Anna, his eyes remained fixed on me for some reason. "Congratulations," I said softly. "I hope you two stay happy together." As I turned to leave, I thought I caught a flash of anger in Luke's eyes. However, I didn't look back. I simply kept walking, one step after another. … In the weeks that followed, Luke and I barely saw each other. His relationship with Anna instantly became the hottest topic among our classmates. Everyone talked about them every day. One day, someone spotted them at the amusement park. The next day, someone snapped a picture of them kissing under a tree. Anna kept texting me, claiming that Luke had only confessed to her to make me jealous and that she was nothing more than a pawn in our game. Only I knew the truth. It wasn't a game. Even if it started as an act, real feelings would eventually get involved. … A month slipped by in the blink of an eye. The night before I was supposed to leave, Luke announced at the dinner table that he was dating someone. His parents turned to look at me, clearly unsure what to say. My gaze fell on the necklace around Luke's neck. Anna had braided it for him herself. Over the past few years, I had woven countless necklaces like that for him, but he had never worn a single one. He always said he didn't want to draw attention to himself, then tossed them into the dusty drawer without a second thought. "Yeah, they really are a great match, and they're so happy together," I said, turning to Luke's parents with a bright smile. "I'm happy for them, too." Across the table, Luke clenched his fists so tightly his knuckles cracked, but he said nothing. After dinner, he walked into my room. I was crouched on the floor, packing my things, when he looked at me and asked, "Where's your bracelet?" I froze and glanced down at my empty right wrist. "I returned it to your parents," I replied calmly. "If you want to give it to someone else, you'll have to ask them for it." The deafening slam of the door was the only response I got. I let out a soft sigh. After I finished packing, I went to find Luke's parents in their room. I'd already told them everything the day before. Luke thought I would be going to college with him the next day to register. He had no idea I was actually heading to the airport that very night. "Let us know when you've arrived," Kate sighed, her eyes glistening with tears. "I guess you and Luke just weren't meant to be. We won't force anything on you. As long as you're happy, we can rest easy—your parents too." I wrapped my arms tightly around them and smiled as I said my goodbyes. Then, I picked up my suitcase and quietly slipped out the front door. Just before boarding the plane, I sent one last reply to Luke from the future. "Now, the two of you won't miss out on those four years again." And I wouldn't miss out on the bright future that belonged to me, either. I didn't notice that the moment my message went through, that mysterious account vanished without a trace. Seven hours later, Luke barged into my bedroom. Staring into the empty room, he staggered back a step. "Impossible! Impossible!" he shouted. His parents hurriedly tried to explain what had happened, but their words faded into a blur. All he wanted was to rush to the airport and drag me back. A second later, a sharp pain shot through his head. A flood of memories that didn't belong to him came crashing into his mind.