Fallen Light

I had been an angel who fell from heaven. When I first arrived in the human world, I had no memories and could not tell a red light from a green one. Evelyn Sheridan took me home. She taught me how to dress and how to eat, and she taught me to call her my wife. In our first year of marriage, I handed a guest a glass of dish soap to drink, and she laughed and smoothed it over for me. In the second year, I spent half the night chatting with a goldfish a guest had given us, and her expression stayed dark all evening. By the third year, she no longer smiled at me. She began bringing home a man named Hudson Lowry more often. She said he had a terminal illness and needed my blessing. I agreed. Each time I blessed him, my hair fell out in clumps and my limbs went weak. That continued until Adeline Wray, the woman next door, broke down our door and got me out of the basement while I was unconscious. She told me that the winter she was eight years old, she had nearly frozen to death under a bridge, and a warm light had saved her. "That light smelled exactly like you." She had me treated, bought me tailored suits unlike anything I had ever worn, and settled me into the best apartment she owned. However, she never let me have contact with anyone else. She gripped my wrist and spoke as gently as if she were coaxing a child. "Your kindness belongs to me and no one else. Be good for me." The night I nodded, I heard Evelyn's voice coming from Adeline's study. "The bone marrow results came back in time for next week. He's a perfect match for Hudson. Adeline, keep him happy. Do not let him get away." Adeline stayed quiet for a long time. When she finally spoke, she said only a few words. "I know. After the surgery, he's mine." Moonlight spilled in through the window, and I saw the needle bruises scattered along my arms. From beginning to end, I had never been anyone's husband. I had only ever been the cure. Chapter 1 "You're awake. Does your wrist still hurt?" Adeline Wray's voice came from beside my ear, impossibly gentle. I opened my eyes. The ornate crystal chandelier overhead was so bright that I had to squint. Adeline sat on the edge of the bed with a bowl of oatmeal that was still steaming. She stirred it without hurry, blew on a spoonful, and held it to my lips. I did not understand what sadness was, but I felt the ache buried deep in the marrow of my arm. The pain left me without the strength to open my mouth. "Not hungry?" Adeline was not annoyed. She set the bowl down gently, and her slender fingers rested on my cheek, the pad of her thumb brushing over my pale lips. "Elio, it's rough out there. This is the only place where you're safe. Evelyn doesn't want you anymore, but I do. As long as you're good and stay by my side, I'll give you everything." I stared at her. I saw my reflection in her eyes, which looked full of affection yet still unfamiliar. I could only think about what she had said to Evelyn Sheridan in the study the night before. She had said that after the surgery, I would be hers. I lowered my head and looked at the dense cluster of needle marks on the back of my hand. "I want to go back." I did not struggle. I only stated it calmly, as a fact. I did not know exactly where heaven was, but my instincts told me that was where I belonged. Adeline's hand stopped against my cheek. Something dark flashed through her eyes, but a tender smile covered it quickly. "Silly, you can't even tell a red light from a green one. How would you ever find your way back? You have no memories and no sense of direction. Without me, the people out there would eat you alive." She leaned closer, her breath warm against the shell of my ear. "Remember, I'm the only one who won't hurt you." At that moment, someone began ringing the apartment doorbell frantically. Bang! Bang! Bang! Chapter 2 The ringing came with Evelyn's frantic pounding on the door. "Adeline! Open the door! I know Elio's in there!" I shuddered and shrank under the covers. Adeline pressed a hand on my shoulder and gave it a soothing pat. "Don't be scared. I'll go see." She stood, walked to the entryway, and opened the door. Evelyn charged straight in. Her designer pantsuit looked slightly rumpled, and her eyes were bloodshot from a sleepless night. When she saw me propped up against the headboard, she strode over. "Elio, come with me." She reached for my wrist. I flinched and pulled away from her touch. Evelyn's hand froze in midair, and her face darkened. "Why are you pulling away? I'm your wife! Come to the hospital with me. Hudson's condition is getting worse, and he urgently needs your stem cells to rebuild his blood." She said it as though it were natural, as though I were not a person but a blood bank. I looked at the woman who had once taught me how to dress and how to eat, and spoke softly. "Evelyn, I'm so tired." So much of my hair had fallen out from all the blessings that I knew I must look awful. "I don't understand why you're doing this, but I don't want to go anymore." Evelyn's brows drew together sharply. She seemed to think I was being unreasonable. "Elio, can't you tell what's more important right now? Hudson is mortal. He has leukemia, and he'll die! You're different. You're an angel! You fell from heaven, so you can't die! What's the harm in taking a little of your bone marrow? It'll grow back on its own in a few days!" She looked down at me, impatience written across her face. "Once Hudson has fully recovered, I'll bring you home and we'll have a good life together, all right?" I shook my head. I did not know what death was, but I knew pain. Each time the needle drove into my bone to draw out the marrow, I felt as if I were being torn apart alive. "I don't want to." I threw back the covers and tried to climb out barefoot on the other side of the bed. "I don't want to stay here anymore." I did not want to stay by Evelyn's side, and I did not want to stay here with Adeline either. I wanted to leave. Evelyn lost the last of her patience. She stepped forward and clamped her hand around my arm. "You don't get a say in this! A life is at stake. You're coming with me!" Her grip was so tight that the needle marks, which had only just scabbed over, began to bleed again. The pain made me suck in a sharp breath, and I started to struggle on instinct. "Let go of me!" I looked to Adeline in the doorway for help. "Adeline, help me." Adeline walked over. She saw the pleading in my eyes and let out a gentle sigh. Then she reached out, not to push Evelyn away, but to take firm hold of my other arm, which was still flailing. Her voice stayed sweet. "Elio, be good. Ms. Sheridan is right. Saving a life matters more than anything. Just bear with it for now. As soon as the surgery is over, I'll come get you." My eyes went wide with disbelief. She had said that she was the only one who would never hurt me. She had said that it was dangerous out there and that she was the only one who was good to me. Why was she helping Evelyn hold me down? Evelyn gave a cold laugh. "Smart choice. Adeline, I owe you one." The two women took me by either arm and hauled me up between them like a prisoner being led away. I kicked with everything I had, but I was far too weak. The impurity of the mortal world had crushed an angel's strength beneath it. "Let go of me... Let go of me!" Chapter 3 Adeline leaned close to my ear, her voice barely audible. "Don't blame me, Elio. You'll only stay quietly in my cage once you see how cruel Evelyn really is." I was shoved into Evelyn's car. The click of the door locks sounded like a death knell. Evelyn sat in the driver's seat and shot me a cold look through the rearview mirror. "Behave yourself. Don't make me tie you up." I curled up in the corner of the back seat, hugged my knees, and stayed silent. The scenery outside the window rushed past. I thought back to our first year of marriage. Because I did not understand human customs, I had poured dish soap into a glass and handed it to one of Evelyn's friends. That day, Evelyn had driven me home just like this, but she had not scolded me. She had laughed and ruffled my hair. "Elio, how are you so clumsy? It's okay, though. You've got me." Back then, there had been light in her eyes. That light had turned into a bottomless abyss. The car did not go to the hospital. It went back to the Sheridan mansion. Evelyn dragged me by the wrist the whole way, and I stumbled into the living room after her. The moment we stepped inside, the cool scent of men's cologne hit me. Hudson sat on the sofa. He wore my favorite white tailored trench coat and held the mug I always drank from. When he saw us come in, he set the mug down and rose unsteadily to his feet. "Evelyn, you brought Elio back?" His handsome face had a sickly pallor, but his eyes held a smugness he could not hide. "I'm sorry, Elio. I was just so cold that I borrowed your coat for a bit. You don't mind, do you?" I looked at the coat. Evelyn had bought it for me with her first paycheck. I could hardly bear to wear it, so I had always kept it hung at the very back of the closet. I stared at him. "Take it off." Hudson flinched and looked at Evelyn with a wounded expression. "Evelyn, is he mad at me? I really didn't mean it. I'll take it off and give it back right now..." As he spoke, he reached for the buttons at his chest. Before he had undone two, his body went limp and he began to fall. Evelyn lunged forward and caught him before he could hit the floor. "Hudson! Are you okay?" Hudson slumped against her, his voice barely above a whisper. "Evelyn, my head is spinning... Am I dying?" Evelyn pulled him closer, stricken, and turned to glare at me. "Elio! What's wrong with you? It's just a stupid coat! If Hudson wants to wear it, he can wear it! Do you really have to push him like this?" I stood perfectly straight while the bruises on my wrist throbbed dully. "That's mine. I don't want him touching it." Evelyn helped Hudson onto the sofa, strode over to me, and raised her hand. Smack! The slap landed hard across my face. My head snapped to one side, and my ears rang. I slowly turned my head back and looked at Evelyn's face, which was twisted with rage. I did not feel sad. I only felt confused. "Did you just hit me?" Evelyn's hand trembled slightly. She seemed not to have expected it of herself, but the guilt in her eyes hardened into something cold. "That's so you'll learn your lesson! Hudson is barely hanging on, and you're fussing over a piece of clothing! Where's your kindness? Aren't you supposed to be an angel? When did you become so vicious and selfish?" Vicious? Selfish? Chapter 4 I stared at her blankly. I had used my hair, my blood, and my bone marrow to keep this man alive, and in the end, I was the vicious one. "That's enough, Evelyn. Please don't hit Elio anymore," Hudson said weakly from the sofa. "This is all my fault. If I just died, you two wouldn't be fighting." Evelyn immediately turned to soothe him. "Don't talk like that. I said I'd save you, and I will." She turned around and pulled a medical kit out from under the coffee table. It was full of needles and blood collection tubes. She tore open the packaging with practiced ease and walked toward me. "We'll draw 200 milliliters of blood today to keep Hudson going. As soon as the match results come in tomorrow, we're going straight to the hospital for your bone marrow." I looked at the long, thick needle in her hand and backed away on instinct. "I'm not doing it." Evelyn's eyes turned hard. She grabbed me by the collar, shoved me down onto the sofa, and pinned me there. "You don't get a say! You owe me this, Elio! If I hadn't taken you in, you would've starved to death on the street a long time ago!" She tied the tourniquet tight around my arm with practiced hands. The cold needle pierced my skin and slid into the vein. I watched dark red blood run through the clear tube and into the collection bag. As the blood drained out of me, I felt the warmth leave my body little by little. It was cold, just like the starless night I had first fallen into the mortal world. When the draw was done, Evelyn carried the blood bag down to the freezer in the basement. Only Hudson and I were left in the living room. Hudson sat up straight on the sofa. The weakness vanished from his face, and open mockery took its place. He strolled over to where I lay slumped on the floor, stretched out one long leg, and nudged my limp legs with his foot. "See? So what if you're some kind of angel? To her, you're nothing but a walking blood bag." He crouched down and lowered his voice. "Elio, I actually feel sorry for you. Want to guess where she'll dump you once she's drained the last of your marrow?" I lifted my heavy eyelids and looked at his greedy face. "You'll pay for this." Hudson let out a scornful laugh. "Pay for it? All I know is that I'm the one who's winning." At that moment, the front door opened again. Adeline walked in carrying a first aid kit. She did not glance at Hudson. She went straight over and knelt beside me. She looked at my red, swollen cheek and my bruised arm, and her eyes filled with pain. "Elio, does it hurt?" She took out some ointment and dabbed it onto my wounds bit by bit. It felt cool and eased the pain a little. I looked at her. "Why didn't you help me earlier?" Adeline's hand paused. She looked up, and there was something obsessive, almost unhinged, in her dark eyes. "See, Elio? Evelyn doesn't love you at all. She hit you and took your blood for another man. "The world out there is too cruel. It's only me, Elio. I'm the only one who truly cares about you. Just be good and give Hudson your marrow, and let go of Evelyn for good. After that, you'll belong only to me, okay?" The cool ointment on my wounds suddenly felt fake. I shoved her hand away. "Don't touch me." The tube of ointment fell from Adeline's hand and rolled to the edge of the coffee table. She was not angry. She only looked at me with those endlessly gentle eyes. "Are you still mad at me, Elio?" Chapter 5 "I told you, this is something you have to go through. If I don't break your wings completely, how else would you ever choose to stay with me?" She said it as if it were obvious, as if pushing me into the abyss were the greatest gift she could give me. I closed my eyes. I did not want to look at her hypocritical face anymore. Hudson stood off to the side, and a flash of jealousy crossed his eyes as he watched Adeline lower herself for me. "Wow, Ms. Wray, you're really devoted. Too bad no matter how hard you try, his marrow is still coming to me in the end." Adeline rose and shot Hudson a cold look. "Mr. Lowry, I'd watch it if I were you. If he hadn't wanted to save you, do you really think you'd still be alive?" Hudson's expression changed. He gave a cold huff, turned, and went back to the guest room. That evening, Evelyn hurried home from the office. She brought back a pile of expensive health supplements, all of them for Hudson. At dinner, I sat at the far end of the table and watched Evelyn serve Hudson the best cut of salmon. "Eat up, Hudson. You'll need your strength for the surgery tomorrow." Hudson smiled obediently and glanced my way. "Evelyn, he keeps staring at us. Do you think he wants some too?" Evelyn frowned without turning her head. "He doesn't need to eat. He's an angel. He won't starve." I set down my fork quietly. It was true that I could not feel hunger, but I could feel the life draining out of my body. After dinner, Evelyn called me into the study and handed me a document. "Sign this." I looked down. It was a consent form for voluntary bone marrow donation. I pushed it away. "I won't sign it. Evelyn, I'm not your property." Evelyn slammed her hand on the desk and shot to her feet. "Elio! Don't make this harder than it has to be! I've taken care of you for three years! I taught you how to fit into this world, and this is how you repay me? It's just a little bone marrow. It's not going to kill you!" I looked at her furious face. "And after that? Will you let me go?" Evelyn froze. It seemed she had never considered that I might leave. "Go? Where would you even go?" She let out a cold laugh. "You don't even have ID. Without me, you don't legally exist. Just be good and sign it, and once Hudson gets better, you'll still be my husband." I shook my head. "I don't want to be your husband anymore. I just want to leave." Evelyn's face turned livid. She grabbed my chin and forced me to look up at her. "Where do you think you're going? To Adeline? You think she's any better? All she wants is the power inside you! Elio, you're mine in this life, and you'll still be mine after you die!" She pulled a pen out of the drawer, forced it into my right hand, and dragged my hand across the signature line in one heavy stroke. "There." Evelyn let go and looked at the signature with satisfaction. "Eight o'clock tomorrow morning. I'll see you at the hospital." She took the form and walked out of the study, locking the door behind her. I was shut inside the study. Outside, a heavy rain had begun to fall. I went to the window and pushed it open, and a bone‑chilling wind swept the rain against my face. I wanted to jump. This was only the second floor, which was not high for me. If I jumped and ran into the night, maybe I could find my way home. Chapter 6 I climbed onto the windowsill and was about to jump when a strong hand shot out of the darkness and clamped around my ankle. "Elio, where do you think you're going?" At some point, Adeline had appeared in the garden below. She had not bothered with an umbrella, and the rain had soaked straight through her expensive pantsuit. She tilted her head back and looked up at me through the curtain of rain, her eyes so fixated that they sent a chill down my spine. "It's windy up there. It's dangerous. Be good and go back inside, okay?" I clung to the window frame. "Adeline, let go of me! I don't want to stay here anymore! You're all insane!" Adeline did not let go. She yanked down even harder. My foot slipped, and I fell from the second floor with no way to stop myself. "Ah!" I did not hit the cold concrete. I landed against something solid and cold instead. Adeline had broken my fall, and she held on to me so tightly that she nearly cracked my ribs. "See, Elio? You can't get away. Even if you fall from the sky, the only place you'll land is in my arms." She stroked my rain‑soaked hair, her voice both tender and cruel. "After the surgery tomorrow, you'll be completely weak. You won't even have the strength to stand. I'll make you the most beautiful cage, and I'll lock your wrists and ankles in gold chains. "Every day, I'll be the only one you see and the only one you can depend on. Doesn't that make you happy, Elio?" I looked at her face, deathly pale in the flash of lightning, and at last I felt a deep and real fear. The next morning, the rain had stopped. Evelyn and Adeline marched me between them through the VIP entrance of a private hospital. I barely had the strength to walk. After getting caught in the rain the night before, I had come down with a high fever, but Evelyn did not care. "A little fever never killed anyone." She tossed the thermometer into the trash and turned coldly to the nurse. "Take him straight in for the marrow draw. Hudson can't wait any longer." I was pinned down on a cold operating table beneath the glaring surgical lights. A doctor walked in holding a frighteningly thick biopsy needle. He looked at my pale face and turned to Evelyn, hesitant. "Ms. Sheridan, this gentleman's vitals are extremely poor. If we take that much marrow from him now, it could cause irreversible organ failure." Evelyn frowned. "His body isn't like ours. He won't die. Do it. If anything happens, I'll take responsibility." The doctor had no choice. He turned and rolled me onto my side. "Prepare the local anesthetic." "No anesthetic." Evelyn's cold voice rang through the operating room. The doctor whipped around. "Ms. Sheridan, that's against protocol. A bone marrow biopsy is excruciating. Without anesthesia, the patient could go into shock from the pain." Evelyn walked to the side of the operating table and looked down at me. "He doesn't need it. Isn't he throwing a tantrum and trying to leave? Then let him feel every second of it. Pain is the only thing that'll make him remember who he belongs to." I closed my eyes in despair. In that moment, I gave up even trying to struggle. The long, thick needle pierced the skin over my lower spine and bored straight into the bone. "Ahh!" I let out a piercing scream, and my body jerked violently like a fish out of water. The pain was beyond anything words could describe. It felt as though the needle were grinding my very soul to pieces. My fingernails dug into the edge of the operating table so hard that two of them snapped off. Chapter 7 Bright red blood dripped from my fingertips onto the white sheets. Adeline stood off to the side. She stepped forward, gently pried my fingers loose from the edge of the table, and slipped her own hand into my palm. Then she brought her arm up to my mouth. "Bite me, Elio. If it hurts, bite me. Just hang on a little longer. It'll be over soon." I did not bite her. With the last of my strength, I spat blood right in her face. "Get away from me!" Adeline froze. She wiped the blood from her face, and her eyes darkened in an instant. "Elio, you're not being good at all." She pulled her hand away and left me to it. The draw dragged on for what felt like a century. When the needle finally came out, I went limp on the table, as if the last breath had been sucked out of me. My hair fell out in clumps. Its golden sheen dulled and faded into a brittle, lifeless gray. A flicker of irritation crossed Evelyn's eyes as she looked at the state I was in. "Take him to a room for observation. Don't let him die." She took the bag filled with my life essence and hurried off to Hudson's sterile unit without looking back. The nurse wheeled me into an ordinary hospital room. No one looked after me. They had all gone to fuss over Hudson. I lay in the hospital bed and looked out the window at the gray, overcast sky. I wanted to leave. I truly did not want to stay in this cold world any longer. I pulled the IV needle out of the back of my hand. Holding together a body that felt like it might fall apart at any moment, I dragged myself out of the room one step at a time. The hallway was quiet. I braced myself against the wall and made my way to the stairwell. I climbed one floor, then two, then three. I did not know how long I climbed before I pushed open a rusted steel door and a fierce gust of wind hit me head‑on. It was the roof. I walked to the edge. Below me, the streets were packed with traffic, and people moved through the concrete jungle like ants. This was the mortal world, a world full of greed, selfishness, betrayal, and pain. I stood in the wind and closed my eyes. At that moment, Evelyn's panicked, furious shout came from behind me. "Elio! What are you doing? Get down from there!" I turned around. Evelyn and Adeline had burst through the steel door and stood there, their faces ashen. Even Hudson had followed them up in a wheelchair, and a cold, triumphant smirk played on his lips. Evelyn charged forward a few steps, then forced herself to stop. "Have you lost your mind? You think you can threaten me by dying? Get down here right now! Hudson's surgery was a success. As long as you do what I say, I promise I'll treat you better from now on!" Adeline's eyes had gone completely red. Her face, which was always so composed, was twisted beyond recognition. "Elio! Don't jump! I'm begging you! I won't lock you up anymore! I won't force you to do anything! Just come back!" She practically stumbled over herself as she rushed toward me. I looked at them, at the two women who had pushed me into hell with their own hands. At last, the corners of my mouth lifted into the first smile I had given since I came down to the mortal world. I did not understand what heartbreak was, but I had come to understand what it meant to be set free. "Evelyn, you have my marrow now. Adeline, I'm taking back that light of yours." I fell backward. Like a kite whose string had been cut, my body plunged into the endless void. "No!" The anguished scream tore through the air above the rooftop. As I fell, I closed my eyes. It was over. At long last, all of it was over.