Pretended Devotion

1 When I caught my detective husband with his first love, I didn't cry. I dragged his partner Marcus into my car and made the chassis rock till dawn. My husband kicked the door open, punched Marcus, and dragged me out by my hair. "She's my wife! You're my brother's girl!" Marcus laughed wildly. "I like taking what's yours." They brawled across the precinct courtyard, blood painting the concrete. Their brotherhood shattered. One went south, the other north. I divorced my husband and married Marcus. For three years, he spoiled me rotten, guarding me like a rabid dog. Until I found out I was pregnant. Rushing to surprise him at the precinct, I caught his voice drifting from the stairwell. "Marc, ten months and you haven't filed for divorce. Don't tell me you actually fell for her?" Through the fire door crack, I saw Marcus leaning against the wall. "A piece of used, dirty laundry? Fall for that? Alice's pregnant. She can't take drama right now." Detectives laughed. "Lillian has no clue. You played the doting husband for two years because Alice wanted her ex back and Lillian wouldn't sign. You put on a whole show just to trick her into a divorce!" "All that jealous acting was just to keep her from crawling back to her ex and making Alice uncomfortable!" Marcus flicked his ash through the smoke, voice low and calm. "I already had a fake paternity test drawn up. Once her belly shows, I'll shove it in her face, call it a bastard, and kick her straight to the curb." … The rest of their words faded into a high-pitched ring. By the time my mind cleared, I was already standing outside the precinct gates, shivered by the biting wind. The pregnancy report that should have brought me tears of joy felt like a death warrant. My hands shook so violently the paper fluttered in the breeze. My phone screen lit up with a notification from him. Hey babe, the briefing wrapped up early. What do you want for dinner? I will cook. A hollow laugh escaped my lips, but my tears splattered hot against the glass screen. My chest felt as if a rusted blade had been driven straight through my heart and twisted. I squeezed my eyes shut. When I opened them again, the warmth was gone, replaced by cold ash. I opened my contacts and sent a message to the State Bureau. Captain Garrett, is that transfer slot to the State Homicide Division still open? I want to apply. Then, I dialed the city hospital. "I need to schedule an abortion. The earliest slot you have." Looking down, my lips curled into a faint, humorless smile. This time, I was going to vanish without leaving a single trace. 2 I do not even remember how I walked back to the precinct quarters. When I pushed the door open, Marcus was sitting on the living room sofa. The moment he saw me, he stood up, his face softening into that familiar, bone-deep tenderness. "You are back? I made pork rib soup. Have some while it is hot." I didn't refuse. I sat down and forced down a couple of spoonfuls. Suddenly, his phone screen lit up. Out of the corner of my eye, I caught the preview, and the blood in my veins turned to ice. Marc, that soup is too greasy. I don't want it. Take it back and feed it to your wife. It had been sent twenty-one minutes ago. The soup in my bowl instantly tasted like slop. I dropped the spoon, bolted to the bathroom, and collapsed over the toilet, dry-heaving violently. Marcus hurried in after me, gently rubbing my back. "What is wrong, babe? Feeling sick?" I slapped his hand away. "Don't touch me. You are sleeping on the couch tonight." By the time the sun came up the next morning, Marcus was already gone. I walked to the hospital alone for my scheduled appointment. The doctor looked over my file, checking twice. "Lillian, your uterine lining is extremely thin. If you go through with this, conceiving again will be nearly impossible. Are you absolutely sure?" I nodded, my voice completely flat. "I am sure. Do it." The procedure was quick. Clutching my prescription, I turned to leave the ward when I collided with someone. The impact wasn't hard, but my body was weak and hollow from the surgery. My knees gave out, and I slammed hard onto the floor. My forehead struck the sharp edge of a marble step, sending flashes of black across my vision. I forced myself to look up and saw the woman standing in front of me: Alice. She was clutching her stomach, sinking to the floor, her face as pale as a sheet. "Alice!" Two figures charged forward at almost the exact same second. Dominic reached her first, throwing his arms around her shoulders, his voice tight with panic. Close behind him was Marcus. He held a prenatal checkup file in one hand and a bag of fresh fruit in the other, filled with Alice's favorites. "Dominic... my stomach hurts so much..." Alice sobbed, burying her face in Dominic's chest. Without a word, Dominic scooped her up in his arms and sprinted toward the ER. Marcus stood half a step behind them, his outstretched hand freezing in midair. A sharp, stabbing cramp ripped through my lower abdomen, breaking me out in a cold sweat. As I tried to push myself up off the floor, a heavy black canvas bag was slammed down over my head, plunging me into absolute darkness. Before I could even scream, a brutal kick caught me square in the stomach. The agonizing pain choked the sound right back down my throat. I curled into a tight ball, catching Marcus's voice drifting through the heavy fabric. It was cold enough to freeze blood. "Drag this blind bitch to the back alley. Teach her some manners. She needs to learn who she is allowed to bump into." A few rookie officers grabbed the bag and dragged me down the damp concrete alleyway. Because I was wearing a hood and a surgical mask post-surgery, he hadn't recognized me. I thrashed wildly, but a heavy boot pinned my back to the ground, and the hard thud of tactical batons began raining down on my ribs. The officers chatted casually as they swung. "Man, Chief Marcus really has a thing for Alice. She gets bumped, and he loses his mind. I don't think his actual wife ever got this kind of treatment." "No kidding. Did you know that when Lillian took those fifty disciplinary lashes years ago, it was Chief Marcus who personally requested them from Internal Affairs?" "He even specifically told them to use the rubber-wrapped steel batons. Said it was a little punishment for dragging her feet on the divorce and upsetting Alice." A violent ringing erupted in my head, like a flashbang exploding in my skull. Those fifty blows that had nearly ended my life years ago, the ones that made me view him as my savior, had been ordered by Marcus himself? The very last spark of light in my soul died right there in the dirt. 3 When I opened my eyes, I was lying in a sterile hospital room. Through the glass panel of the door, a row of officers was lined up, heads bowed. "A bunch of useless idiots! You couldn't even recognize your chief's wife?" The door pushed open. Marcus walked in, the residual fury still lingering in his eyes. Seeing me awake, he hurried to my bedside, his voice dropping into that soft, gentle tone. "Lily, you are awake? I have already suspended those idiots. Are you still in pain?" He reached out to brush the stray hair from my forehead, but I jerked my head away. His hand froze in the air. He let out a soft sigh. "It is my fault. Everything was a mess, and I didn't recognize you. I am so sorry you had to go through that. Hey, didn't you always want to recuperate in Savannah? I cleared my schedule for the next two weeks. I will go with you, okay?" I stared at him, my throat raw and dry. "No need. If you are so worried about Alice, why aren't you with her?" Marcus stiffened. "I know you don't like her, Lily. But her father is the State Deputy Director, and our joint task force is in the middle of a massive operation. If anything happens to her, the whole case falls apart. Besides, she is pregnant now. What happened in the past is ancient history. You are not still keeping score over her and Dominic, are you? You have to look at the bigger picture." A wave of fury burned in my chest, but before I could speak, my phone buzzed on the nightstand. It was the State Bureau's personnel department. "Lillian, your transfer to the State Homicide Division has been approved. You report for duty next week." Marcus's sharp ears caught the word "transfer." His brow furrowed instantly. "What transfer?" "Nothing," I muttered into the receiver, telling the caller I understood before hanging up. "Just some staff scheduling." After a few days in the ward, I was discharged. The day of the City Homicide Conference finally arrived, and I had stayed up all night polishing my case analysis report. The auditorium was packed with detectives from various precincts, with cameras lined up in the front row. I took a deep breath, preparing to step up to the podium. Suddenly, the double doors of the conference room were kicked open. Marcus marched in, his face masked in a terrifying blend of cold anger. Striding onto the stage, he grabbed my wrist in a vice grip. "Lillian, how many times do I have to tell you to let the past go? You married me. Why the hell are you still stalking Dominic?" "Let go of me!" Wincing at the pain, I struggled. "Stalking? I don't have a clue what you are talking about!" Before I could finish, a stinging slap landed across my face. Alice appeared on the stage out of nowhere, her beautiful face twisted in a mixture of disgust and triumph. "Still playing innocent? Fine! Let us show everyone what a desperate, pathetic bitch you really are!" A few technicians hurried to the control panel. Within seconds, my case report was wiped from the projector screen, replaced by screenshots of intimate messages. Dominic, I still love you. I don't care about Marcus. Please take me back. What does that bitch Alice have that I don't? She is just a homewrecker. Once you are bored of her, you will realize I am the only one who belongs with you. The texts were vulgar and humiliating. Scattered between them were several explicit, face-cropped photos of a woman whose body looked identical to mine. The entire room erupted into whispers and gasps. I yanked my hand out of Marcus's grip. "This isn't me! I am calling Internal Affairs right now!" As I pulled out my phone, Alice suddenly gasped, clutching her stomach as her face drained of color, her body listing backward. Marcus caught her before she hit the floor. Leaning weakly against him, Alice gasped for air, then suddenly pointed a trembling finger at the screen. "Wait. Look at the photo. That woman has a crescent-shaped scar on her chest. Lillian, if you claim it is not you, strip. Let us see." A couple of junior officers stepped forward, forcing me down to my knees on the stage. I looked up, my eyes burning red as I stared directly at Marcus. "You are my husband, Marcus. Do I have a scar like that on my chest?" Marcus frowned, his voice cold and logical. "Lily, Alice is pregnant. She cannot handle this kind of stress. What is the harm in letting her check? Besides, if rumors spread that you are stalking your ex, your reputation is ruined anyway. Checking right now settles it for everyone." He gave a slight nod to the officers. The officers pinned me, tearing open my shirt. I fought with everything I had, but my weak, post-op body was no match for them. When they ripped the fabric away, my chest was exposed to the entire room. My skin was smooth, pale, and entirely devoid of any crescent scar. Camera shutters clicked like rapid gunfire, the flashing lights blinding me. Every gaze in the room sliced into me like a knife. What was supposed to be my professional triumph had been turned into a public execution. Alice whimpered and collapsed into a feigned faint. Marcus didn't spare me another look. He scooped her up in his arms, threw a cold command to the officers to escort me back, and sprinted out of the auditorium without looking back. 4 I was dragged back to the quarters. The official notice arrived shortly after: immediate suspension pending investigation. Overnight, my reputation was in tatters. I had nothing left. Shaking, I dragged myself to the nightstand, grabbed the bottle of prescription sleeping pills, and dumped a handful into my palm. I was raising them to my mouth when the door flew open. Marcus stormed in, ripping the bottle from my hand. "Are you out of your mind? You trying to kill yourself?" I let out a jagged laugh, tears streaming down my face. "Isn't this exactly what you wanted?" During my years with Dominic, insomnia had nearly driven me mad, and these pills had been my only escape. It was Marcus who had pulled me out of that dark hole, staying up with me night after night until I was finally clean. And now, he was the one shoving me back down, deeper than before. Marcus scoffed, tossing the bottle onto the table. "Cut the drama, Lily. The misunderstanding was cleared up, wasn't it? Save these cheap suicide threats for Dominic. They don't work on me." Unable to hold back, I swung my arm and slapped him across the face. The sharp crack echoed through the quiet room. His head jetted back, a dark red mark rising on his cheek. Anger flared in his eyes, but looking at my tear-stained face, he suppressed it. Just then, his phone rang. He listened for a brief moment, and his expression turned grim. "Get in here! Pin her down!" Two officers burst through the door, pinning my arms and forcing me onto the sofa. A cold dread crept up my spine. Marcus's face was pale. "Alice collapsed again. She is unconscious, and the baby is in critical condition. The doctor says she has severe anemia." He glared at me. "You are going to give her a transfusion." "No!" I screamed, thrashing wildly, but the officers held me down like a vice. I was dragged to the clinic. My arm was bound with a rubber tourniquet, and a thick needle was jammed roughly into my vein. Dark red blood surged through the clear plastic tubing, filling bag after bag. My vision began to blur. Cold sweat coated my skin, and my lips turned a ghostly white. "Please... stop... I cannot take any more," I whimpered. The nurse on duty frowned, looking at Marcus. "Chief, we have exceeded the safe limit. Any more and she will go into shock." Marcus didn't even blink. His voice was as cold as a scalpel. "Keep drawing." My movements grew sluggish, and the darkness closed in. By the time they finally pulled the needle out, they had taken five bags of my blood. I collapsed onto the cold tile floor, my breathing shallow and weak. Marcus stood over me, looking down at my broken form. After a long silence, he sighed. "Lily, Alice is carrying a child. Just bear with it. I will arrange for you to stay at a retreat in Savannah for a while. Once she delivers, I will bring you back. You always wanted a family, right? When this is over, we will have our own." He paused, adjusting his collar. "Rest up. I am going to check on her." He turned and walked away toward Alice's room without a single backward glance. As the door clicked shut, the very last trace of warmth in my heart died. Like a discarded doll, I let the nurse lift me into a wheelchair and wheel me out of the clinic. Suddenly, my phone buzzed with a message from the State Bureau. Lillian, I heard about what happened today. Don't worry, I have got your back. Get ready to move out. Tears dripped onto the screen, blurring the text. With trembling fingers, I typed out a single word: Yes. An hour later, I stood in the airport departure lounge. My face was pale as death, a cotton ball taped over the fresh puncture wound in the crook of my elbow. My phone rang. It was Marcus's partner. "Lillian, the ticket to Savannah is booked. Should I have a cruiser pick you up?" "No need," I said softly, looking out at the overcast sky. "Do me a favor and give the small metal box in my dresser to Marcus. And please... don't call me that anymore." I hung up and walked toward security. It was finally over. The curtain had fallen on Marcus's grand play, and I was going to reclaim my life.